First Date Do’s And Don’ts

First dates can be a lovely experience or something quite similar to a root canal appointment with your dentist. But we all do it – it is a single woman’s necessary evil. Well, it’s not all that bad. You get some dinner or maybe a movie, you get to know someone better, maybe have a few laughs. It can be fun. But then there are the awkward moments, some silent spells maybe. Plus, there’s this gnawing need to impress. If not that, we seem to develop hawk-eyes overnight, with our attention to everything our date does. If you have gone to as many first dates as I have, it is a roller coaster ride.

And funny enough, I still sometimes get the jitters – like I’m in high school and it is really my first date. To all of us out there who still go through these, here’s a few do’s and don’ts that can help smoothen things along for you and your date:


  • Be yourself: Everyone wants to see the real thing. And faking can get tiresome, really. You won’t be able to keep it up on the third, fourth, or fifth date.

    But then, don’t dish out all the juicy stuff about you either. Get to know each other slowly. And when you are ready to reveal some of your intimate and vulnerable stories, or when your date is ready to hear them, then do.

    On first dates, be real but keep it light and fun.

  • Listen: Talk about yourself on the first date, it lets him know who you are – but let him talk too. A man wouldn’t want someone who hogs the conversation. And when he does talk, listen. This is a way for you to know him better and know what you are (or not!) getting into.
  • Have fun: A date is just a date, even if it is the first date. So keep it fun and light. Your world does not hang in balance, awaiting judgment. This is just a getting to know.


  • Don’t be someone you’re not: Of course, we all want to impress our dates. Yet, we should not go so far as to try to be someone we are not. If you smoke and you’re dating a non-smoker, then maybe you can hold off your after-meal cig. But let him know you do smoke. If he likes you enough, he will be willing to compromise.
  • Don’t be too quick to judge: Maybe the first date was a little too awkward for you. Or, maybe your date didn’t impress you enough. Hold your judgment about him and give it another date or two, especially if he seemed nice and kind to you. Sometimes, you just need to get over the first-date hump.


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